Broken When I'm Lonesome
by xAngel Of Music
Summary: Rachel is very sick, but what will happen to her if Cuddy refuses let anyone near her? Huddy. Rated K for now, but it will probably change.
1. Chapter 1

**Soo, I'm currently listening to the song "Broken" by Seether, and it totally reminded me of the Huddy relationship (what song **_**doesn't**_** remind me of Huddy?), but then it popped into my random mind, "What would happen if Rachel died?" and now I give you…**

House sat in his office, almost in a good mood. He hadn't been bothered by Cuddy all day. The 'almost' in that good mood was also created by that fact.. and because Cuddy had found a way to move in with Lucas after killing both him and Wilson for buying 'their' loft.

Without warning, Wilson pushed open the glass door to House's office with an unhappy expression. "House." He said.

"Wilson." House replied, raising an eyebrow.

"House, I think something's the matter with Cuddy. She's acting strange lately." He stated with a sigh.

"Yeah, I know. She hasn't paraded in here all day whining about how hard it is to be Dean of Medicine and that I should do my job to make her life easier." House replied.

"First of all, you parade into _her_ office, second of all, you should do your job anyway, and third of all, I think we need to find out what's wrong with her so we can help." Wilson said.

"What, Lucas doesn't care enough to help her?" House muttered.

"Maybe Lucas knows, but maybe Cuddy told him to keep it a secret?" Wilson guessed.

House remained silent, giving his ball a throw at the wall before watching it bounce off the floor and letting it land perfectly in his hand. It was obvious that he was debating whether or not to help her.

"You know, if you help her with this it just might let her see that you can change. You'll be closer to winning her." Wilson explained to him.

He remained silent for a moment longer before turning to finally look at his friend, "Fine."

Wilson nodded. "Okay, lets go see if she's in her office. Maybe we can get something out of her." And with that, he started towards the door, followed by House.

They entered to find a sniffling Cuddy sitting at her desk.

"Cuddy, what's the matter?" Wilson asked automatically, with a _that was easy_ thought from House.

"Nothing," she began as she wiped a tear from her eye with a tissue, "what do you want?"

"There are so many ways I could go with that question." House retorted, which earned a cold glare from Cuddy.

"I don't need this right now, House. Just tell me what you came here for." She demanded.

"We came to find out what was wrong with you. You've been acting a bit depressed lately, and you've stayed in your office more. What's going on?" He asked.

"If I wanted to announce it, I would have. This isn't any of your business." She replied darkly.

"You more or less might not be his friend, but you're mine." Wilson said, making a subtle gesture towards House at the first part.

"Thanks." House said, glancing at Wilson.

"Rachel's sick." Cuddy finally announced, giving another sniffle while House frowned.

"Why don't you want anybody to know that?" House raised an eyebrow.

"I specifically didn't want _you_ to know it, House. I knew you'd probably break into my house and find some crazy impossible symptom and try to fix her. I don't want that." Cuddy glared at him.

"You don't want me to help her?" House grumbled.

"I don't want you to hurt her!" Cuddy snapped.

"Cuddy, just let House look at her. He couldn't do anything crazy if you and Lucas were there." Wilson chimed in.

"Well, at least if you were there," House added.

Cuddy rolled her eyes coldly and replied, "No. I'm not risking anything. I won't lose another baby."

House threw his arms up in the air. "What, do you think I'm going to go over and stab it?" He demanded.

"No, but I do think you're going to obsess over it and end up hurting her." Cuddy narrowed her blue-gray eyes.

"House wouldn't hurt Rachel on purpose," Wilson promised.

"Rachel's fine. She doesn't need help." Cuddy started, throwing the balled up tissue in the trashcan nearby.

"Oh, so _that's_ why you're sitting in here all the time crying." House's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Shut up, House," she snapped.

"I'm scared!" He faked a wail.

"Just leave. I don't need your help." She practically growled.

"Fine." House narrowed his eyes, whipped around and walked out.

"House, wait!" Wilson sighed. He gave Cuddy an 'I'm sorry' look before following his friend.

"Stop following me. According to her she doesn't need, nor want my help." House threw over his shoulder as he limped.

"House, you're just too childish to see that she really needs you, and your opinion of Lucas is probably clouding your judgement." Wilson sped up to block his entry to his office.

"Have I ever told you how annoying you are?" House snapped.

"Yeah, a lot, actually." Wilson replied.

"Good, now move." He ordered, ducking around Wilson to get into his office and sit down.

_Meanwhile in Cuddy's office…_

Cuddy flipped open her phone to answer at it's shrill ring.

"Hello?" She asked.

"_Cuddy, Rachel's not breathing. I.. I don't know what to do._" Lucas's voice sounded on the other line.

"Check her pulse!" Cuddy demanded, tears beginning to spill from her eyes again.

Lucas automatically brought his hand right to her wrist to check her pulse. A long silence that seemed to stretch for days sounded on the phone.

"_There's no pulse. I'm so sorry, Lisa."_ Honestly, he didn't sound too upset by it. They still only had a brief knowing of each other, and he was probably more upset at the fact that Cuddy was upset.

"Lucas, I'll talk to you later." She could barely make out the words through her tears as she hung up.

Another baby lost. Another chance to become a mother gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Haha, I am the cliffhanger QUEEN! *holds up Microsoft Word* And this is my minion! ._. Sorry, I had a moment there.**

Cuddy didn't arrive home until late that night. She figured she'd spent an hour or two with the door locked, simply crying over the death of her daughter.

As she opened the door, she found Lucas sitting on the couch with a still little girl in his arms. He still didn't seem too depressed. She began to wonder if Lucas was putting on an act. _Why would he do that? House would even show more sympathy than this. Maybe. _

"Hey," Lucas said softly, looking down at Rachel.

She didn't reply. She simply walked over and scooped the girl up in her arms, tears blinding her eyes at the sight of her limp form.

"Lucas, do you mind.. leaving for a while? I need to be alone." She asked quietly.

"No problem," he stated simply, rising to his feet and giving Cuddy an absent kiss on the head before retreating out the door.

She sighed and sat down on the couch, gazing down at Rachel, her blue-gray eyes distant.

"When did she..?" Asked a voice that she knew all too well.

Cuddy gasped in surprise and shot her gaze up to the speaking figure, to find only House standing there.

"House, what are you doing here? How did you get in?" She snapped, her angry voice tinged with sadness.

"That's not important," he replied with a small shrug, limping over to sit next to her on the couch.

Cuddy sniffled. "I'd say it's kind of important…" She stated.

"If I was stalking you, I'd do it at the hospital. It's _so_ much easier there." He replied.

"What are you doing here?" She demanded in a softer tone than she meant it to be.

"I thought you could use a friend. Sorry, you'll have to settle for me." He gazed at Rachel with a frown.

That earned the tiniest humored chuckle from Cuddy. "I really do suck as a mother. You were right, House." Cuddy sighed.

"You don't suck as a mother." He replied, looking up at her.

"If I didn't suck as a mother, I wouldn't have let her die," she snapped in reply. "Besides, you told me that yourself."

"You were just being overprotective. It's normal. And I took that back, remember? There was this whole…" He trailed off.

"If I had just let you look at her she might be alive right now. Yes, I remember. You don't need to go into detail." She replied.

"But she also might have had a worse death. You were right not to let me see her; I might have killed her. It's true." He argued.

She simply sighed and let another tear fall from her eye before looking up to hook her gaze onto his. "Thank you, House." She replied softly.

To his surprise, Cuddy leant up to give him a soft kiss on the lips.

Unfortunately, Lucas was standing there and had seen nothing but the kiss.

"Lisa, what are you doing?" He basically growled.

She pulled away automatically to look at Lucas. "Lucas.. I didn't hear you come in. What did you see of that..?" She asked.

"Enough of it. This is nothing but what I've always expected." He explained, glaring at House.

"Lucas, look, it was nothing." House spoke up.

It was Cuddy's turn to speak. "It was a thank you, Lucas. He actually wanted to help me, unlike you, who only dealt with Rachel to get closer to me." She stated firmly.

Lucas sighed. "You're right, Lisa. Honestly, I never liked kids. Sorry. But I guess you've found someone who does. So, goodbye." He turned and left with those words.

While House was a little amused at the 'someone who likes kids' comment, he was more worried about Cuddy; not that he'd show it much.

Cuddy was staring after him in disbelief. "What a jerk." She muttered, but the anger on her face was soon taken over by sadness as she looked back down at the dead little girl in her arms.

"You'll have more chances to become a mother." House tried incredibly hard not to make a prostitute joke out of those words.

"I don't know if I can handle another child, House. I can't handle losing another." Tears streaked softly down her face.

"Who says you're going to lose it?" He asked.

"House, this is the way my luck works. I'm not meant to be a mother." She argued.

"You see the way you're grieving over Rachel right now? The way you care about her? That's what it takes to be a mother. You care and you'd sacrifice yourself to save her. You're definitely mother material." He told her.

She didn't see any point in arguing any more. "Thanks, House." She thanked again.

He simply nodded, feeling a bit awkward actually being nice to someone for once, and wrapped his arm around her casually.

She looked up at him, but didn't hit him as she would've a few hours ago. He'd actually let his human side show for a brief moment, and that was all she ever wanted from him.


	3. Chapter 3

** I'm surprised my stories are actually attracting any attention at all, to be honest. Wow. Ahah. I'm such a noooob. :)**

House was surprised Cuddy actually showed up for work the next morning. Only he knew how broken she'd been the night before; a side he rarely saw in her.

He made his way into his office, whistling, actually in a good mood. His leg barely hurt, and he hadn't even taken any vicodin.

There sat Thirteen, Taub, and Chase, all of them looking totally struck by House's good mood.

"What's got you so happy?" Thirteen asked as she looked up at him.

"Seeing your bright sunny faces on this fine day couldn't make me happy?" House asked sarcastically.

"They usually don't," piped Chase as he shrugged.

At just the right moment, Wilson pushed his way into House's office, with an eyebrow raised. "Word on the street is that you're in a good mood. Why?" He asked.

"Hmm.. of course I'll tell you guys. The only thing that has to change is that me and Wilson have to stand outside while I'm saying it. Hope you guys have superhero hearing." He spoke to the three before sliding out into the hallway with Wilson.

"So, what is it?" Wilson asked, slightly tipping his head on one side. Then he continued, "Wait.. only one thing could get you so happy. Cuddy. Did you sleep with her?" He asked.

"It was Cuddy, but I didn't sleep with her. I just visited her after Rachel died." He shrugged.

"What did you talk about?" He asked.

"I told her she'd –" House stopped when he saw Cuddy approaching them in the hall.

"Morning," she greeted casually, but she gave House a nonmistakable adoring look. Well.. it was nonmistakable for Wilson, anyway. He knew how to read both of their emotions.

With a 'morning' from House and a friendly 'hey' from Wilson, she grinned softly. It was still easy to spot the pain in her eyes. It was so deep that Wilson thought it might stick around forever.

Not until after a small silence did House notice the file in Cuddy's hands. "Is that mine? You shouldn't have." He joked.

She chuckled unnoticeably and handed House the file. "30 year old male. Nonproductive cough, occasional shallow breathing, drowsiness, and fever." She announced.

He nodded. He actually didn't mind a new case for once.

"Well, I'll see you later," she dismissed with a delicate smile. It still didn't mask her pain.

As Cuddy walked, she didn't hear much around her. The regular clicking and clacking of her heels as they glided over the floor, and the non-unusual footsteps of a crowd walking behind her.

As she neared her office, though, footsteps continued to follow her. It gave her a weird feeling, like she should run.. or go back to House.

She finally reached her office, only to hear the door slam and lock behind her. Something she didn't do.

Cuddy spun around finally, to find a huge man towering over her. He held something in his hand.. what was it? She couldn't quite make it out. When she went to push him away, something sharp cut across her right hand. The object was a knife.

She went into a series of cursing and swearing, along with some questions along the lines of: "Who are you?" "Why are you doing this?"

"I heard you let my little sister die. Isn't it Rachel that you named her?" He growled.

Cuddy was on the ground, her hand grasped to her chest. When she could find time to speak in between feeling its piercing pain, she replied, "She died last night.. she was my adopted daughter. I tried to help her!"

"You obviously didn't try hard enough, considering the fact that she's dead. Let me guess, you probably sat back and watched her get worse while insisting she was fine? Well she wasn't fine. This was your fault, doctor Cuddy." His words seemed to take that knife right through her heart.

Before she could say anything back at him, in what seemed to take less than a second, he brought his knife down to plunge into her stomach.

House wasn't deaf; he could hear the ridiculously loud scream that erupted from Cuddy's office on his way back from lunch. What?

He didn't care about his leg, or the pain he would feel later. He ran as fast as he could (with some help from his cane) to Cuddy's office.

House was surprised to find the door unlocked when he opened it, but what surprised him even more was the sight in front of him.

Cuddy was sprawled across the ground with blood soaking her shirt and the ground. The scarlet also flooded a bit around her. But she was alone.

"Cuddy, what happened?" He erupted, kneeling unknowingly in the blood beside her.

The woman couldn't reply. She was too busy gasping for air.

House couldn't comprehend his emotions at that moment. He felt like he needed to dramatically kill whoever had done this to her, help her, and hold her and tell her everything would be alright at the same time.

He snapped himself out of his irritating thoughts and scooped her up in his arms, carrying her out of her office. Blood seeped into his clothes, but he didn't care.

The only thing on his mind right now was that someone had hurt Cuddy, and he felt as if he were the only one who could help her properly.

"House," Cuddy finally managed to gasp through a few pain-ridden tears.

"I'm here, Cuddy. I'm going to help you." He meant every word. He would help her, make sure she was okay; odd truth was, he'd do anything for her.

** SOOO, how'd you like the Rachel's brother thing? I honestly had no idea what I was doing when I brought that in.. I was just like: "Ooh, Cuddy should get stabbed!" Ahah. So yes, there you go. AND NOWW, kitties, I need your help. If you post a review, if you could just be amazing and tell me what you want to see happen? 'Cause I'm blanking. XD Thanks! xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! :D Wellll, the last chapter I just kind of threw in a random stalker stabby dude, so HA. I must say, I really am making this up as I go along. x.x Help me? :) Thank youu Katheryn Mae Wilson MD for the idea, but can you message meh with more details? :D xx**

House had just gotten Cuddy all fixed up and she was now in a hospital bed, which she of course, objected to.

"I can't be in here, House. I have work to do, and.." She trailed off slowly.

"You really can't be thinking about work after you just got stabbed. Did you see where he went?" House asked.

"No. I was a paying a little more attention to the knife in my stomach." She snapped.

House sighed. "Well yelling at me isn't going to help." He replied.

"Sorry," she replied quietly.

He didn't reply to her apology, just continued asking. "What did he look like?" He inquired.

"I - I don't know. Can we just drop it?" She asked with an irritated sigh.

"You were stabbed. We can't let them get away with that. Do you at least know why he stabbed you?" He asked.

"Erm.." She started, trying to think back. "Rachel!" She exclaimed. "He said.. I killed his little sister." Her tone softened sadly as she looked away.

"So Rachel had a brother. We could look him up." House announced.

"Except for the detail that Rachel had no last name before I adopted her." Cuddy said, wincing a bit at the pain in her stomach every time she shifted.

"Crap." He muttered darkly.

"Can I please get up? I feel fine." She lied a bit.

"No." He snapped. "The wound's healing fast. Just suck it up and lay there." He ordered.

She narrowed her eyes as if she were going to go on an angry tirade, but she remained silent and sat back in the bed.

The beeping of House's pager made her jump. He looked at the device and muttered an irritated swear before looking back up at her. "Sorry, lackies want me. Be right back. If you get up, I'll be forced to... sorry, can't think of a non-sexual threat." He shrugged and backed out of the room.

She simply watched him go and leaned into the propped-up pillows with a sigh.

"So, I really gotcha with that knife, huh?" Cuddy abruptly turned her head to see the man who had stabbed her.

She finally could see his appearance. He was a shaggy looking kid, looking to be around seventeen, and he wore faded jeans and a gray t-shirt.

Cuddy thought about yelling for help, but she knew that would make her seem weak. "Leave here now, or I _will_ call the police on you." She snapped.

"Oh, you wouldn't do that to the brother of the little girl you killed, would you?" He smirked.

She could tell this was turning into a game for him. He was barely trying to avenge the death of his little sister anymore.

"I didn't kill her!" She grasped her stomach after yelling, feeling the piercing pain run through it.

Just as the kid began advancing toward her with the very same blood-ridden knife, he was knocked to the ground by House's not-so-subtle cane.

"Touch her with that again, and someone will be here trying to avenge _your_ death." He practically growled.

If the man was scared, he didn't show it. He lunged for House's bad leg with the knife, but House jumped away just in time, causing a ridiculous amount of pain in his leg.

Cuddy stared in disbelief, fear flickering in her eyes.

Before either of the two could do anything else, two security guards came up from behind and grabbed the kid, forcing him to drop the bloodied knife. They took him away without even a struggle, though the kid was thrashing.

"House, are you okay?" Cuddy asked worriedly.

"I'm fine." He snapped, though he was on the ground rubbing his leg. He popped some vicodin in his mouth and after a few minutes was on his feet with a lot of help from his cane.

She sighed. "See, this is another reason why having more than a professional relationship is bad."

"What, my leg? Cuddy, if you haven't noticed, my leg's been like this for a while now." He replied.

"I caused that pain you felt in it just now. Do you know how that makes me feel?" She argued.

"Cuddy, be quiet. This isn't your fault and you know it." He rolled his icy eyes.

She sighed and closed her eyes, hiding a wince from the pain in her stomach.

"You okay?" He asked, his voice softer now as he stood by her hospital bed.

"Just fine." She replied quietly.

"Good. I'll be right here if you need me." He replied honestly as he sat down in the chair beside the bed, resting his cane on its arm.

It didn't take long for both of them to fall asleep, a peaceful look finally spreading on their faces.


	5. Chapter 5

**Soo, Katheryn Mae Wilson MD is a righteous kitty, she gave me amazingful ideas so I'm not **_**totally**_** making things up as I type them. Heehee. Haha. Anyway, Thank youu! 8) xx**

"Do you have someone to call?" Asked an older male.

"Yeah." The brother of Rachel replied as they entered the local prison.

"Good. You'll need to notify someone that you'll be staying here until we can find out more information." The man replied.

The kid nodded and took the phone the man gave him and slowly entered a number, and was surprised when they actually picked up.

"Hello?" The voice was a woman's. She sounded.. almost young, surprisingly.

"Hi." He replied almost softly.

"Who is this?" She asked, her voice dripping with confusion.

"Err.. I'm your son." He gave her a moment process.

A moment of silence stretched across both lines as his mother's face lit up with shock and she almost dropped the phone.

"Y-you're alive?" She stammered, sounding as if she were almost in tears.

"Umm.. yeah. Do you remember me?" He asked gruffly.

"Of course I do. And my daughter, too. Did you meet her? Is she okay?" His mother's voice ran on.

"For a short time. They named her Rachel. But.. Mom, Rachel's dead." He replied.

"She's... are you sure?" The reply sounded.

He nodded as if she could see it over the phone. "I'm sure." He replied.

"How did you find Rachel?" A bit of curiosity mixed in his mother's voice.

"Don't ask how, but I know that a woman named Lisa Cuddy adopted her. She died a short while after." He explained.

"Rachel was sweet, and so were you. Don't get me wrong, I loved you both very much, but I wasn't ready for children. You'd have been better off without me." She replied.

"I.. understand." He said slowly after a moment of thought.

"Good. Say, where are you calling from, anyway...?" She asked.

He sat back in thought for a moment, his cold eyes narrowed. "Don't worry about it.. look, I've got to go. Bye." He hung up before she could reply.

_Meanwhile, at the hospital..._

Cuddy was asleep when the sliding door of her room woke her up in the hospital bed.

"Lucas, what are you doing here?" She asked in an attempted professional voice.

"I heard about Rachel's brother. I wanted to make sure you were okay." He replied, taking a seat in the comfortable chair beside her bed.

"I don't need to be looked after." She sat up and propped herself against the pillows behind her.

He sighed. "I know. Lisa, err.. Cuddy..." He paused, trying to figure out what to call her. "I wasn't depressed about Rachel because I wanted to get closer to you. I've always wanted to get close to you. But the real reason I was worried about her was because I knew her brother." He explained.

"You knew him..?" She sounded as if she'd heard wrong.

Lucas nodded. "I've never liked him, and I'm glad he's gone now.. I'm sorry, I never should have left on you. If you say that your kiss with House was just a thank you, I believe you." He replied.

Cuddy remained silent as he said that. Sure, she'd said her and House's kiss was just for a thank you; but was that true? She was almost positive she'd felt something deeper. But how was she supposed to tell Lucas that?

"I can be there to protect you now." He said softly, resting his hand on hers.

But as he leaned in to kiss her, she looked away which made him stop in his tracks.

"Lucas, I-I'm sorry, but.. I don't think I'm ready for this." She replied, not daring to meet his gaze.

To her surprise, he didn't storm away in an angry tirade. He simply rose to his feet and nodded. "I understand, Lisa. You're confused and hurt, and I won't force anything on you." He said softly, before nodding and slipping away into the hallway to leave.

Cuddy sighed and rested her head on her pillows. Of course, as soon as she began to drift into sleep, House limped in.

"Hey, why did I just see Lucas? Am I hallucinating again?" He asked.

Cuddy chuckled half-heartedly. "No, he came to see me." She replied.

".. Which way did he go again..?" House glanced backwards.

"House, don't go kill him," she rolled her eyes. "He just wanted to make sure I was okay."

"Something tells me it was more than that." House raised an eyebrow.

She sighed. "He wanted to get back together with me, but I told him it was too much and that I wasn't ready. He also knew Rachel's brother That was it." Cuddy explained.

A broad grin stretched across House's face. "And you don't want to get back together with him because...?" He asked as if he already knew the answer.

"I just told you that it was too much and I wasn't ready." She snapped.

"Alright, alright, if you say so." He replied with a shrug.

"How's your case going?" She asked.

"Oh, just like it always does. Patient has something that we won't be able to figure out until the last minute." He replied, which earned the tiniest chuckle from her.

"I'm definitely out of this bed tomorrow." She announced, wriggling around a bit.

"If you insist." He replied, popping a vicodin in his mouth.

After a long moment of silence and staring at each other, House's pager sang its irritating tune.

"Sorry, dear, gotta run." He said.

She rolled her eyes, "you can't run."

"That was mean... but either way, I've gotta go. The Fantastic Four want me." He said as he stood up and limped out, obviously referring to Taub, Thirteen, Foreman, and Chase.

"Bye, House," she said softly as her gray eyes followed him out.

**Ahah, I can't believe I forgot Foreman last time! Oops. Heehee. :) I knew I was forgetting someone. Anyway, I kinda liked this chapter. 8D What do YOUU think?**


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